what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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