Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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