Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize