White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she told me i tasted like america
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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