wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
