How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You pole danced in your parka.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
