So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
