spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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