I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I currently don't understand fingers.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
