Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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