i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
