im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
