All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
