So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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