that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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