worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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