I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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