Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
