that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
