What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize