Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
