I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
