anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
