dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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