Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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