Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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