On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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