Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
