at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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