I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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