She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
