just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
