Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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