Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize