If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
