I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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