I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
