Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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