it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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