you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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