I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Your tits are I can't wait for
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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