Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
if only i could text you this smell
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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