she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
