So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
