i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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