my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
