I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
