I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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