go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
