Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
