Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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