Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
