Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
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