literally had 100 drinks last night.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
