a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
