So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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