My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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